Remembering to Live

Over and over again I have heard in the last months what a difficult winter this has been for people.  It certainly was for me with the loss of a close loved one and a serious physical injury. At times it felt as if I was holding on by a thread, or drowning in a stormy sea. I got so lost in this turbulent time that I could hardly believe in the change of season, the coming of spring and return of the light.

Upon arriving in Crete the depth of my depletion became startlingly apparent. I realized I had lost consciousness when singing “Wani Wachi Elo”, no longer sure if I really wanted to live. The land and sea were quickly there to love and restore my confidence in life. Tate Hara Mara was my constant companion, comforting me with her ocean sounds. She called me, was angry, informative. During my swims she rocked me like a baby, buoying me up in her soothing, saline arms, washing me clean, delivering me fresh to begin again with eyes open, to take in the beauty of Spring blossoming all around me. Each morning I would go to her and listen with my heart to what she had to share, to take in the colors of sunrise so I could wake up. I would go to the blowhole so that I might hear her breath and recalibrate my breathing to go on. Tate Yurinaka was so present with her loving healing vibration that I could sleep no more than 4–5 hours a night. The land of Crete is definitely still alive!  Leaving this magical place is always hard. During the last few days of our stay, Ecatewari, Goddess of Wind, paid us a strong visit, blowing the winds of change across the waters, stirring things up, like any good eagle mother, booting us out of the nest. I found myself during the bus ride to the airport praying for rain, for Crete’s fertility and for fertility in my life. As raindrops appear I realize, “Oh Great Spirit I once again want to live!” Thank you for my life! Thank you ancient ones for listening!